Oh my god yes
Totally agree with you 100% on that man!
I used to be a Christian and was heavily influenced by the positive messages of the New Testament. I’m not a part of that faith any more but I think the best thing I took from it and still hold today is to try not to brag about good deeds you do for others, because that’s not what it’s about and you should be doing those things for others and not for you. Except now this sounds like I’m bragging about not doing that. Hmmm. But I think that’s something we can all think about from time to time.
I totally understand what it’s like having friends like that. It hurts a lot. Some people choose their friends based on who can make them laugh and how much fun they are and nothing else. All the superficial stuff. It’s usually because they don’t have a lot of substance themselves, ALL their qualities are superficial, and dealing with friends’ big emotions is beyond their mental capacity. It’s just not “fun” for them. They aren’t the people you want in your life. That might not make it hurt any less but you’ll be happier for surrounding yourself with people with the intelligence and emotional capacity to either help you through your tough times or at the very least to just not make it worse.
I can’t tell you how to feel but please don’t ever start to think there’s anything rational about ending your life :( there is someone, probably more people than you think, who would miss you. There are people who want you around, even if your tough times overshadow that fact. But I should make this about you and not them. No one should have to be this sad. It’s so worth sticking it out I promise. People do not have a level of worth. We are all as important and as unimportant as each other. You deserve to be happy. You are more entitled to your happiness than those asshats out there who do nothing but bad things to people. I truly hope that you find that happiness somewhere.
Please feel free to continue to contact me if you need to talk. If you need to be more specific but don’t want everyone to read it, you are always welcome to talk to me directly off anon and it will remain strictly between us. Please hAng in there